Do vagina's smell?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
