I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
