Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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