around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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