I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Randomize
