Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Mom said you looked used
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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