Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
