i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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