her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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