hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
