I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize