his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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