are you so shy because you have an std?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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