I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
