im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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