Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
