weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
