Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize