this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
