Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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