Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
