I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
