I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
