I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize