Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
