I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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