Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My balls are so social today.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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