she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
