A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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