You're so nebulous sometimes
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
