No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
