I want to stick my p in your. b.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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