It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
