nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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