Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize