i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
