Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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