the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
