Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
