it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
