So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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