who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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