whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I could make wine with my vomit
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
