yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
