Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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