Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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