this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
