i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
