So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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