Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
