idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
