Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Who died my cat blue again?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
