sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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