i don't plan on having that self control this summer
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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