When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
