I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My pussy is not your playground.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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