Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
