Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just made my gag reflex go away.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
