I'm gonna have a badass scar
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
