So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
