OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
