Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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