All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
