She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
